Month: March 2018

Categories
Marriage

A Love Story To Imitate in Your Own Marriage

Do you know the touching love story of Robertson & Muriel McQuilkin?

Robertson McQuilkin was the president of Columbia Bible College when his wife developed Alzheimer’s Disease.
Robertson had to make a decision: To continue working at the college or to become caretaker of Muriel. Both jobs required 100% of him, so he had to resign from one or the other. He wrote a letter to Columbia Bible College to explain his decision. In it he stated:

…recently it has become apparent that Muriel is contented most of the time she is with me and almost none of the time I am away from her. It is not just “discontent.” She is filled with fear—even terror—that she has lost me and always goes in search of me when I leave home. So it is clear to me that she needs me now, full-time…

The decision was made, in a way, 42 years ago when I promised to care for Muriel “in sickness and in health…till death do us part.” So, as I told the students and faculty, as a man of my word, integrity has something to do with it. But so does fairness. She has cared for me fully and sacrificially all these years; if I cared for her for the next 40 years I would not be out of her debt.

Duty, however, can be grim and stoic. But there is more: I love Muriel. She is a delight to me—her childlike dependence and confidence in me, her warm love, occasional flashes of that wit I used to relish so, her happy spirit and tough resilience in the face of her continual distressing frustration. I don’t have to care for her. I get to! It is a high honor to care for so wonderful a person.

A true love story! This is the type of loving, self-sacrificing commitment that each of us are called to make to one another when we say “I Do.”

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Categories
Relationships

Forgiveness: Is repentance necessary? What if they don’t apologize?

This great question about forgiveness and repentance was posed to me:
I’ve heard people talk about forgiving people, but I do not believe that it is scriptural to forgive someone who hasn’t asked apologized. I do not believe a person should have anger in his heart toward the person who wronged him nor should he be wanting revenge. However, I do not believe God expects something from us that He is unwilling to do. He loves those who are lost, but He does not forgive them until they come to Him in repentance. So should I forgive someone before they offer me an apology?

What would your response be if you had received this question?
Are there any wrong assumptions within the statements leading up to the question?
a pencil that has written the word "sorry" symbolizing forgiveness
Here was my response:

My basic premise for stating that you should forgive those who have hurt you, even before they have apologized is that Jesus Christ did the work of forgiveness for me on the cross before I ever asked for forgiveness.

I believe that this may just be an issue of semantics regarding our wording. But here is my understanding:
I believe that the words “forgiveness” and “reconciliation” are two different words that are both needed for salvation.
I believe that the act of forgiveness was done on the cross. The gift was provided.
In a relationship, forgiveness can be provided by only one party.
But reconciliation does not occur until both parties have acted.
One provides forgiveness and one accepts it.
Therefore, I would say that God did the work of forgiveness, is offering it to us, and it is then up to us to receive that gift of forgiveness to be reconciled to Him.

Jesus prayed to the Father while on the cross, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” The Spirit of God was indicating that forgiveness was being offered to them, but it would take a desire on their part for reconciliation to occur. One thief beside Him asked for it, and one didn’t.

One of the characteristics of our great God is His loving, forgiving nature, and He expects us to have that same nature. We are to love others, even our enemies, and that means that we are to offer them forgiveness, even if they do not yet deserve it because they haven’t asked for it. It is up to them whether or not to be reconciled to us. The offer of forgiveness is to be there ready and available. They just have to take it.

It’s easy for us to balk against this idea, until we think about parenting. Parents do this often with their children. There are very many times during the time you are raising your children, when you have already forgiven your child even before he or she apologizes to you. The relationship is damaged until reconciliation occurs, but forgiveness can be offered even if the child does not yet even know about it.

So the big question for you now is: Who do you need to forgive today?

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Categories
Missions

Being a Missionary Right Where You Live, Work, and Play

Missionary. The word makes us think of someone who is living their lives overseas in a foreign country. But God said we were also to be His witnesses in Jerusalem (meaning within our own city). Too often we only think about missionaries as those who are sharing the gospel with the “ends of the earth.” But according to God, there is also a missionary task to undertake right here at home – where you live, work, and play. That is why our Church family at FBC Newton continues to hold to the idea of:

“I Am a Disciple.
I Am a Disciple-Maker.
And I Am a Missionary.
So as I am going,
I will change my conversations, and
I will excel still more.”

a map of the world to symbolize the role of missionary

Missionaries. We are to be on mission for Jesus. According to the Acts 1:8 passage I mentioned above, along with the Great Commission from Matthew 28:18-20, we are to be His witnesses as we are going. So I encourage you toward the following missionary tasks:

As I am going out and about each day, I will find intentional ways to take the gospel message to my neighbors – both to those who live next door to me and also to those who live far from me. This includes those who live very differently from me.

As I am going, I will pray for those I know who do not know Jesus. (I’ll keep a top 5 list of those who I know need to come to know Christ).

As I am going, I will also send others to places I can’t go. (I’ll give financially to send missionaries to farther locations.)

As I am going, I will be on mission. (I will personally get involved in missionary opportunities right around me – with people in community, with people who work beside me, and with the people I’m involved in recreational activities with.)

In regard to: “I Will Keep a Top 5 List” – Every follower of Christ is a missionary, and therefore every follower of Christ needs to keep a list of people they are praying for to receive Christ or come back to a right relationship with Him. Write down 5 blank lines somewhere in your Bible, or on a card that you put in your Bible. And begin asking God who to write into those 5 blanks as your top 5. Once you write them down, begin praying for them – strive to pray for them every day, and also pray that He will give you a chance to talk to them about Him someday.

In regard to sending others, be sure you are a good sender. Finances are important, but there is more to it. Will you commit to being a good sender? Will you bless those who have gone farther with your prayers, with your care, and with your support? Do you have a missionary you correspond with regularly? Why not?

In regard to the statement “I will go” – You are already going each day, so as you are going, be on mission. But also, God has a desire for more of us to leave the comfort of our homes and go farther. Where does God want you to go? Are you willing to ask Him?

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Categories
Christian Living

Initiating Strategic Conversations for the Sake of the Gospel

I received the following question a while back related to the idea of us “changing our conversations”:

I find the challenge of “changing the topic” very interesting. I would like to know what you would consider the “changed topic.” From the casual Wal-Mart conversation to the person you car-pool with to a fellow passenger on a plane, what do you see as ultimate destination of our conversations? I have ideas of the progression from “God is good,” to “God is in control,” to “Jesus is my savior,” to “Jesus is the only way.” If you have some time, how about making a list of the things you wish all of us would spend our day talking to others about.

What a great question! How would you answer it?

A picture of two cups of coffee symbolizing our need to have strategic conversations with others
A cup of coffee with someone is a great place for conversations. But will you have a strategic direction for the conversation?

My response was:
Hmmmm, I’ve been thinking about a list of things I wish people would talk to others about. I’m still not sure about the list, but here are some things that I would encourage people to do:

1. Each Sunday think about the thing that impacted you the most during Bible Study and Worship, and then try to bring that up in conversation with someone during the week. (This could also be done with your daily devotional time, too. What was most impactful? How can I share this with someone today?) For example, maybe the message is on an attitude of joy vs. an attitude of complaint. Then think about what people complain to you about and be prepared on how you will respond to turn the conversation. We know that we all constantly complain about the weather – “it is too hot, too cold, too dry, or too wet.” So we know this will come up. So the next time when someone is complaining to you about the weather being too hot – you might say: “I know! I am the world’s worst about complaining about the weather – about it being too rainy or to dry or too cold. But I heard something this weekend at church that made me think about that: It was the statement that ‘Rain can ruin your weekend or rain can save your life, depending on who you are and what your thirst is like.’ And it got me to thinking about how the weather might be something for me to complain about, but someone else is probably praising God for the same weather. So I’m trying to make a commitment to focus more on the positive. How hard do you think that will be for me?” That gives information on your beliefs, and invites them further into the conversation.

2. Look for opportunities to discuss the relationships you have at church, and to invite people into a relationship with you. For example, at work when someone says, “This weekend was great! I was able to sleep in on Saturday, and on Sunday I went fishing bright and early. We caught a mess of fish.” You could then say something along the lines of: “That sounds great, I love fishing. In fact, one of the guys in my Bible study group was talking to me about us getting together to go to the lake one of these upcoming Saturdays. Would you be interested in going with us?” This points out that you are in a Bible study group, and that you are open to new relationships.

3. Be strategic about talking to other Christians about godly things in the presence of non-Christians. Again, not in weird stuff like a discussion about the “soteriology themes in Revelation as they connect to Ezekiel and the 70 Weeks in Daniel” (what?!), but just about how your relationship with your wife has improved as you have grown in your relationship with God. Doing so allows a non-Christian to hear your conversation and allows a small seed to be planted about how something like that could help out his relationship with his wife.

What else should be included in my answer as to how to practically change our conversations toward God?

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Categories
Ramblings

Changing Conversations (A Skill That So Many People Need to Develop!)

Changing Conversations. Goodness… how badly this is needed today!
Are you like me and have become frustrated with the conversations you see on Social Media? Have you seen the fact that we no longer even know HOW to have conversations? We have a long way to go regarding Changing Conversations that are taking place around us! I’ve had several people tell me they have become extremely frustrated with how difficult it has now become in knowing what you should or shouldn’t say or post. We definitely need some help in changing our conversations!

a picture of two sheep bleating at one another symbolizing our need for changing conversations with others
This is too often what our conversations feel like – a lot of bleating at one another!

One of the phrases we have latched onto at FBC Newton regarding Changing Conversations was added into our statement of roles and tasks:

“I Am a Disciple.
I Am a Disciple-Maker.
And I Am a Missionary.
So as I am going,
I will change my conversations, and
I will excel still more.”

We are called to be Disciple-Makers. In fact, according to 2 Timothy 2:2 , we are to Make Disciples who will Make Disciples. This verse gives us four generations of disciplemaking:
Paul disciples Timothy who disciples Faithful Men who disciple More Faithful Men!

Therefore, we talk about the commitment that as a Disciple-Maker, I will change my conversations attempting to bring God and Christ into every conversation, teaching others how to know and obey everything that Jesus commanded. To do that we need to commit to these items:

  • I will intentionally make new friends
  • I will make time to be part of a disciple group
  • I will share the things I’ve learned as a disciple with my family and my d-group

    • I will change my conversations. If you are thinking that some of these roles and tasks bleed into each other, you would be right. Being a disciple, bleeds into disciplemaking, which also overlaps with being a missionary. And so changing our conversations deals with all three. The truth is that as we are going about our day we converse with people all day long. We talk about the weather, we talk about sports, we talk about recreation, we talk about vacations, we talk about family, we talk about the pastor. But since we are to “Walk Like Jesus Did,” then we should always be working to change the conversation (to steer it) toward God.

    For example, if the weather has provided a summer drought and finally there is a break in it through a strong rain, then when someone says, “It sure was great to get some rain yesterday,” we typically say something like “Yes, it sure was.” But how about working to intentionally change the conversation and move it toward God: “Yes, it sure was. God really blessed us in sending us that rain.”

    See that wasn’t hard at all. You barely changed it, but you brought God into it, opening the door for more conversation about God in the future. And as you do it more and more, it gets easier and easier to bring God into your conversations. And in time you will be able to move the conversation more clearly toward Jesus.

    Changing Conversations. We need you to start doing it today.
    So as you are going wherever you go today, go out and Change Your Conversations for Jesus!

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