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Christian Living

The Yo-Yo of Seeking Approval

“I’m good enough. I’m smart enough. And doggone-it, people like me!” Do you remember the Saturday Night Live character who told us to say this in the mirror each day? We might want to be good and smart, but doggone-it, even more so we want people to like us. But there is a problem if we live our lives seeking approval and using it as our guide for happiness.

wooden yo-yo to represent the ups and downs of seeking the approval of others
photo credit: xuliánconx

Gordon MacDonald tells us of the tragic consequences: “Since people’s approval inevitably comes and goes, increases and evaporates, motivation through approval becomes a yo-yo of emotions. It’s one of the first reasons men and women quit spiritual leadership. No one is clapping anymore.”

A great contrast we find in the Bible to a person seeking others’ approval is John the Baptist. John “watched a formerly approving crowd leave him to follow Jesus. His reaction? ‘I must decrease.’ Only a person free of the need for approval could talk like that.”

I wish I was more like John. Not that I want to eat locusts, wear camel hair, or live in the wilderness. But I do wish that I didn’t seek so much approval from others. I wish I was a person free of the need for approval, but instead I am like so many who often find ourselves trying to “keep up with the Joneses.” So many of us spend money we don’t have to buy things we don’t need to impress people we don’t really like!

Too often, we put ourselves in compromising situations and are unwilling to take a stand, because we don’t want people to think we’re trying to be “holier-than-thou.” We compromise on our own standards to “get along” with others. We want our status to “increase” in the eyes of those around us. But I find that satisfaction in life remains elusive when I am seeking their approval.

So what needs to change? When I learn how to wholeheartedly say to God – “You must increase, and I must decrease!” Then I’ll find true satisfaction in life!

How have you gained some victory in this battle and determined to care more about God’s opinion than the applause of others?

— brian rushing